God, our creator, knows our purpose, and everything we need to excel in life is in the Bible.  The word of God helps us to define our identity. Irrespective of whether we have a Christian single status or a married one.

Like God, our spirits are eternal, and in light of eternity, it is essential to note that there will be no marriage in heaven. Matthew 22:30, “For in the resurrected state neither do [men] marry nor are [women] given in marriage, but they are like the angels in heaven.”

With this in mind, we must be careful to refrain from defining ourselves through our marital status here on earth.  

Mathew 19: 7-12, “They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Before the broken engagement, before losing a spouse or divorce….God destined, blessed, and loved us as His daughters and sons with unconditional love. Our relationship status with God doesn’t change when someone leaves or fails to enter our lives.  If we have forgotten, now is a perfect time to remind ourselves of who we are in Christ. Let’s look at these points to help us remember our identity in Christ as singles: 

A. God loves you unconditionally in your single status

True love is a person, and this person is God. No one can stop God from loving us. What a blessing!

I John 4:16 “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” We must believe that we already have His love. 

Only God can fulfill our deepest needs, and He died to make us free and whole in every area of our lives. No human has the responsibility to define us.  1 Corinthians 7:23- 24 “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

1 John 4:10 tells us,  “In this is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”  We cannot do anything to earn such love. Love is a gift of grace. We have the identity of love. 

We must not condemn ourselves because of the rejection or the death of a loved one; but instead, we must start loving ourselves just as God loves us. 

A great way to rekindle love and appreciation for ourselves is to write love verses and post them on our laptops, room walls, kitchen lockers, and even fridge doors. Speaking love verses and songs loud in front of the mirror daily to combat opposite thoughts helps us place our minds on higher things like the Word of God. 

When we begin to fill our lives with the word of God through reading the Bible, watching sermons, spending time with God, and meditating on His love, we become more spiritually vibrant. Focusing on Christ will help us remember our true identity in Christ, with or without a partner.

B. You are destined for a purpose

God predestined and ordained us before our mother’s womb. Surprise!!!…. We are not accidents.  God knows everything about us. 1 Corinthians 7: 17 “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.” 

Like David said in Psalm 139:16, “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Oh, yes! This is precisely who we are. 

God said in Genesis 1:26, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness….”

This reflects His desire and design to imprint His nature on us, and everyone possesses these attributes. The Bible contains God’s promises towards us, but we must believe that we have His identity from DNA. 

We must hold fast to knowing that He has a specific purpose for us. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Believing is a firm conviction that our lives have a defined purpose. We will be accountable to God for how we accomplish His purposes in our lives, whether in singleness or in marriage. Our temporal earthly status of marriage or singleness is not our core identity. 

Can you fulfil your purpose without marrying?

Jesus and Paul did not marry, yet they fulfilled their purposes.

Our Lord Jesus Christ completed his purpose when he said in John 19:30, “… It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”  

On the other hand, Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Tim 4:7 “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.” Before he died, he advised people to be single like him. 1 Corinthians 7: 6-7 I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

What to do to maintain your Christian single status

Whether you recognize it or not, God loves us, and He has a prosperous future for us. Choose in this season of grief and hurt to remain faithful to God by loving God, loving yourself, focusing on your purpose, and even loving people who have hurt you. Love them by praying for them.

Luke 6:27 commands us to “bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

The human mind is forgetful sometimes, but God gave us all a retrospective mind. We should invest time in reminding ourselves consistently about God’s love for us and how purposeful we are. God never created anything worthless. We will always be valuable to God.

Benefits of having a Christian single status

1 Corinthians 7: 23-25, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.  But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—  and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Christ’s definition and identity of us exceed any earthly relationship we can ever cultivate. We can be single and peaceful. Having a Christian single status doesn’t mean we are not whole. God considers us complete in Christ.

Remember that marriage is not an identity, but a characteristic of our whole being.  It is a gift for some. While marriage is an institution that can help us fulfill our purposes in God, we can also fulfill our purposes for God in and through our Christian single status.

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