To recover from brokenness is possible, but how you do it defines success.

All broken wooden colored pencils can still be used to color if they are sharpened.  They can color as bright as they were initially before they broke. No one is condemned after a bad break; spare yourself the blame game and decide to shine again. Everything we do in life is a choice.

Nowadays, some ladies have become depressed, victimized, and hopeless for years. Those situations erupt after experiencing a breakup from an engaged boyfriend, going through a divorce, or the death of their husbands. They either blame themselves most of the time, their former partners, or at extreme God. Amazingly, Godly women are different.

However, alluding to Daniel, Job, and Joseph in scripture, it is not unrealistic to conclude there are a lot of things we might not fully understand why and how. Yet we must keep our faith deliberately by trusting God and remaining hopeful.

Trusting God is by adopting the deliberate positive, patient attitude that God is with you. Consequently, you will experience God’s goodness with a testimony of victory. King Solomon made a vital confession in Proverbs 4:8, “I am confidently certain I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living” . This has become a far-fetched reality for many women these days. Now is the best time to start confessing God’s word regardless of past events.

Quoting the short widow phase of Ruth’s life leading to her marriage with Boaz is an example worth emulating. It is possible to date again. The subsequent decisions could be paramount to help you recover fast.

1. To recover, decide to listen to your heart, not popular opinion.

Ruth was from Moab, but she decided to follow Naomi to Israel. (Ruth 1:18) “When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.” There must be that inner determination to heal from your past. Even if it means changing your geographical location. 

In verse 16, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God”. Strangely, in verse 17, she was willing to die for what she believed. She affirmed her devotion to Naomi by abandoning her country, home, family, and gods.  

…These are difficult things to give up, but she was willing to pursue a new start. Yes, you, too, can begin again.

Referring to Moses, Jonah, and Abraham, it is not extraordinary to say God always calls us out of a place of comfort to a place of extra comfort. All of which require a strict process of obedience. Even though the Holy Spirit is present to help us, it is not automatic. He directs our willing hearts to act in response to God’s word.

2. Decide to present yourself with decency and dignity.

Ruth dressed appropriately before meeting with Boaz on the threshing floor.

(Ruth 3:3) “Wash, put on perfume, and get dressed in your best clothes. Then go down threshing floor, but don’t let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking”.

It is not godly to permit frustration and pain to stop you from smiling and dressing responsibly.

It is extreme to say how you dress is how you feel, but it cannot be denied! To recover can include changing your closet.

Nowadays, it is almost natural to see everyone dressed in black at funerals. This color is mostly considered as a mourning color. What you wear reflects your self-esteem and worth.

If you don’t like how you are addressed, check how you dress. 

How should you dress?

How you look transmits a message of your pain or state of mind. Choose to reflect the joy in how you look. This should be a daily decision irrespective of how you feel or your experiences. Dressing is an imperative reason God made clothes for Adam and Eve (Gen 2:21).

I jokingly say looking good is good business. When I dress and mix many colors, it affects my mood. Generally, the brightness of my to-match outfits makes me smile happily and unconsciously. I am yet to meet someone who didn’t admire my dressing style. I don’t wear current fashion clothing, but I consider myself fashionable. Although I buy simple and sometimes cheap clothes, I feel great and confident when I mix them. How about you?

3. To recover, decide to build your career. 

Despite the pain of the loss, Ruth was hardworking. (Ruth 2:2) And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.” 

Growing professionally is a recovery step and opens more opportunities for a future spouse. It enables you to become financially independent and builds self-confidence before you date again.

Many ladies have lost passion for advancing their careers because of the unfortunate situation, or at least others may appear to be growing, yet, there is still inner non-satisfaction about their career excellence. So you must choose to enjoy your professional journey and use your God-given skills to help and empower yourself and someone in need.

Godly women know their identity is in Christ. With or without a partner, they can excel in their spiritual and career purposes.

4. To recover, decide to be kind to everyone. 

Ruth’s decision to remain kind to Naomi was what built her excellent reputation around Israel and led to Boaz blessing her when he asked about her.

(Ruth 2:11-12) “Boaz replied, I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband- how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you didn’t know before. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge”. 

People will always associate you with your past, so do not be offended if they address you using it. On the contrary, your present generous gestures will be the grounds for your future reward from God and in man’s eyes. 

Be deliberately honest in the way you treat people. People will never forget and quote your sacrifices even if they do not tell you outrightly.

Even though Naomi and Ruth were widows, Naomi changed her name to bitterness but Ruth did not change her name. Ruth 1:20, “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.” Sadly no one will fully understand your pain, even with similar experiences. Refuse to be bitter and to blame God.

Choose to remain optimistic about yourself as a virtuous woman and trust God to be the channel through which He can use to fulfill His purpose.

Remarrying is possible. It happened for Ruth, so it can happen to you too. Ruth bore Obed the father of Jesse, and the father of David (Ruth 4:22).  I believe, Ruth’s decision to pursue life with God is what made her become the grandmother of a great king – David.

You are valuable to God. Thus, I encourage you from today to decide to follow your heart, mold your career, be consistently generous and uphold a high decent physical outlook at all times.

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